iAm Not Crazy
by seddieftw5
Summary: "There was an accident honey, a terrible one. S-S-S-Samantha was in it. She's hurt Freddie."
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: I am so sorry for not updating, I've been very busy. I haven't updated iGet A Child yet, but I will soon. I just really wanted to do this because the idea was just too beautiful to push to the side. Some may seem out of character, but it's not like I'm the first one to do that. Hope you like it!**

Disclaimer: I am not the director, producer, or anything that has to do with iCarly. Although, I am part of two fandoms so.. I guess I am part of iCarly in way a way… kinda… sorta… no.

**Freddie's POV:**

"Are you serious?" snapped the girl. Her ocean blue eyes starred deep into my brown, narrowing, going from the calm soothing colors of the deep blue, into what makes the ocean truly terrifying. The ocean in her eyes froze; giving me chills, and like many out on the sea during a terrible storm, scared me to death. Still, I had to be strong.

"I'm dead serious! Carly cares about me!" I snapped back. She was still starring me in the eyes. Her frozen ocean broke when those last four words came out. Shit.

"And what? I don't care about you? Is that what you think?" her voice was shaky, her ocean started to flood. I can't believe I made her cry. Sam Puckett is crying, because of me.

"Sam…" I tried to comfort her.

"No! Don't touch me," a flash of blonde curls went through my doorway. I heard the loud thud of my front door as she slammed it shut, leaving only the three words I always dreaded to hear coming from her towards me lingering in the air. Why did I say that? Of course she cared about me, if she didn't then she wouldn't have given me a teddy bear when I had the flu last month. I turned towards my bed. And there it was the teddy bear. The thing I kept by my side because Sam couldn't be there because my mother, although seemed to have hated her, didn't want her to also get sick.

I picked it up and held it close. What am I still doing here? I should be chasing after her. I left my bedroom only to find my mother in front of me, tears fighting to slide down her cheeks.

"Mom, what is it?"

"There was an accident honey, a terrible one. S-S-S-Samantha was in it. She's hurt Freddie." The tears won, now they were racing each other down my mother's cheeks, taking her eye make-up with them. The tears started to get ready for the race down my cheeks now.

"No, that can't be. She only left five minutes ago!"

"Honey, she is a fast runner. You should know, you've been chasing her for how long now? Anyway, she ran out into traffic and got hit by a car. Luckily, someone called the hospital right away and she's on her way now." Her voice was calmer. Maybe she's just looking on the bright side right now, for me. Still, the tears were racing down my cheeks now.

"Let's go."

How could I have let her go? Why didn't I chase after her? She would've been safe with me instead of heading towards the hospital right now. I would be holding her in my arms as she would try to get away, which would only make me hold her tighter. Pulling her into my chest and let her soak my shirt with her tears. I would be apologizing for how big of a jerk I was, and tell her how I wouldn't blame her if she didn't forgive me. I would loosen her just ever so slightly so she could look at me, and before she speaks I would kiss her. It would be soft, comforting. Letting her know how truly sorry I am. To my surprise she would kiss me back. The kiss will break and I would look her in the eyes and wipe away her tears and kiss her forehead. Then we would head back to my apartment, but I didn't chase after her. I stayed put. How fucking stupid could I possibly be?

We arrived at the hospital. Mine and my mother's faces were stained with tears. I sat down and she went to talk to the lady at the desk. The place was just too white. The floor, the ceiling, the walls, the doctors outfits, just everything. The lights were too bright and gave me a headache. I searched the room for something soothing and my eyes landed on this little girl. Her hair was blonde, curly. She was dressed in khaki shorts, sneakers, and a stripped yellow shirt. She looked at me, her eyes: ocean blue. I looked at what she looked up from, it was a MMA magazine. My tears were no longer holding back, they were racer each other at top speed. She reminded me too much of Sam a few years ago. When she_ wasn't_ in the hospital. The little girl looked away and went back to reading the magazine.

My mom came back and told me that she was in surgery. If I would've just ran after her, she wouldn't be in surgery right now, she would be at home with me. Safe and sound. But of course like an idiot, I didn't chase her.

Time passed and it was already past midnight. Carly had arrived shortly after she had gotten the news from my mother about Sam. Spencer came with her. The little girl that reminded me of Sam had fallen asleep on her mother. I'm surprised they hadn't left yet. We all waited in silence. She's going to be okay. Of course she is, she's Sam. She can make it through anything. Eventually Carly broke. She burst into tears that she had been holding back for the past few hours. Spencer tried comforting her, but it was no use.

"What are they doing? What's taking them so long? Shouldn't they be done by now?"

"I don't know, just calm-"

"Don't tell me to calm down! How can you all be calm? Sam is in surgery right now! For all we know she could be dead!" the little girl had stared to awaken and the mother was giving us looks to be quiet, but what Carly had said made me snap.

"Carly! Don't fucking say that! She is not dead! She is Sam fucking Puckett, she makes it through everything!"

"Fredward Benson!" my mom gave me a look.

"Sorry…"

Just then a man in a white coat came down the hall into the waiting room.

"Samantha Puckett's guardian?" he asked.

I stood up; he gave me a weird look. "How is she? Is she okay?"

"She's fine. Are you her guardian?"

"No, I'm her boyfriend."

"Oh, are you Freddie?"

"Yes."

"She's been asking for you. Come this way." He led me down the hall. We turned a couple of corners until we stopped in front of a door. "Go right in, she's sleeping now, but you can still see her."

I gave him a smile and he walked away. I entered the room. There she was, in the middle of the room on the bed, all bandaged up. She wouldn't have been like this if I just had ran after her. I walked over to her. She looked so peaceful though. I sat down on the chair beside her bed and grabbed her hand. Here come the tears.

"I'm so sorry Sam. I-I-I love you." I brought her hand to my lips, pressing them against the back of her hand. Her soft skin made the butterflies in my stomach go nuts. I felt the grip on my hand tighten. I looked at her, her eyes started to flutter. She was waking up.

Her eyes opened and the grip on my hand tightened even more. She kept squeezing my hand until it started to get tingly. She moaned. She started to slightly kick her legs, her other hand gripping onto the bed. She groaned and moved her head to the side. She kept moving her head from side to side and eventually cried out in pain. Her grip tightened even more.

"Sam! Sam! Sam! Baby look at me, look at me!" she actually listened. Even in her eyes you could tell she's hurt. "What's wrong?"

"There's… There's… things…everywhere and they're…OW.. biting me!" she started to wipe the 'things' off and screamed. "They won't get off! They won't get off!" Where's the doctor!

"Okay, I'll help, I'll help!" I started to 'wipe' the 'things' off.

"Good! Good! They're coming off now!" even with the great news she started wiping them away faster. Finally the doctor came in.

"What's going on?"

"What's going on? Oh, I don't know, just some fucking things were trying to fucking eat me!" Sam yelled at the doctor.

"What 'things'?"

"I don't fucking know! And how come it's so fucking loud in hear?"

"Sam, it's completely quiet…" I answered her.

"It-it-it is…?"

"Yes." The doctor tried stepping closer, and with the sudden movement she grabbed a needle and pointed it to her heart.

"Don'..Closer."

The doctor put his arms up in defeat and took a couple steps back.

"Sam, what are you doing?" she looked at me and loosened her grip on the needle. She looked so innocent.

"…huh?" she looked down, saw the needle pointed at her and dropped it. She looked terrified. I grabbed it off her and put it away.

"Why did I have that Freddie?" her eyes were starting to fill with tears.

"I-I-I-I don't know Samantha."

"Don'., Frednub."

"But, sweetie you always let me call you that." She giggled.

"Oh, sorry baby"

"Excuse me, Freddie? I need to speak with you outside." I got up and stepped outside of the room with the doctor.

"What is it?"

"I believe Samantha-"

"Sam,"

"Sam has brain damage."

"WHAT!"

"I'm not too sure, it could be something el-"

"How can you not be fucking sure! You're the fucking doctor, you need to fucking know!"

"Calm do-"

"Don't fucking tell me to calm down! You're the dumbass who doesn't even fucking know if my girlfriend has some kind of fucking brain damage!"

"Freddie, I'm going to run some tests and I'll be able to tell by tomorrow." I was still angry; this dipthong couldn't even think to check if anything had happened to her brain. I looked at her through the window on the door. She looked scared. She was moving towards one side of the bed, it seemed like she was trying to get away from something. She called my name, I ran inside.

"What? What is it?"

She pointed to the corner. "There. There's something there!"

I looked, there was nothing there. It was a bit darker there, so I decided to turn on the light. The room illuminated with light and Sam was crying. I walked over to her.

"Sam, why are you crying?"

"You think I'm crazy, don't you?"

"No! I don't!"

"The doctor does! I'm not though, Freddie. I'm not crazy." She kept crying. I took her into my arms and held her tight. Her tears: soaking my shirt. If only I did this before the accident. I should've chased after her. I loosened my grip on her and kissed her. I broke the kiss and kissed her bandages. I kissed each and every scratch and bruise.

"Is that better?" her crying at slowed down and she nodded.

"I love you Freddie," she whispered.

"I love you too Sam," I whispered back. "I have to go, though."

"No! Don't leave me with the monsters.." she whispered the last part. She really seemed scared and I couldn't bear to leave her like that.

"Okay, I'll see if I can stay." She smiled and I went to go talk to the doctor. He said it was fine, and I texted my mother and told her I was staying with Sam.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: I really love this one, that's why I'm updating it faster, but I am working on iGet a Child. It'll be up in a couple of days maybe. Just hang tight. I hope you like this as much as me. **

Disclaimer: Dan disagreed on letting me have iCarly a loooonngg time ago, so obviously I don't own it.

**Freddie's POV:**

If only I had ran after her. We wouldn't be here. I wouldn't be sleeping over at the hospital with Sam, who might or might not have brain damage. This fucking sucks big time. I turned to face her from where I was standing in the room. The light had really brightened the room up, for the first time, I actually really saw her. She had some stitches a few inches above her eyebrow, and her hair was a mess. Some of it stuck to her face from her sweating. Even when she's all bruised up, she's extremely beautiful. She looked away from the wall and looked at me and she smiled. It made me smile. She motioned for me to go to her, I listened.

"So, Freddie," she started.

"Yes?"

"Wanna play a game?"

"Sure,"

"Okay, so what we have to do is ask a bunch of questions and we have to answer it. Truthfully. No lying, whoever lies first, losses."

"Alright, I'll go first" she smiled at me, waiting for the question. She seemed too eager. What can I ask her though? I'll just… I got it. "Are you afraid of the dark?"

She started laughing so hard that she tilted her head back, her long blonde curls crashing into the bed. It's such a cute laugh though. "Of course not nub. My turn. Ummm… If you were to only have ten words to say to the one you love, what would it be?"

What would it be? Well, the one I love is Sam, so what are ten words I would say to her? "I love you; I hope you know that I do. Or something like that."

"I love you too." I smiled. How'd she know it was to her? It was obvious wasn't it? Yeah, it was.

"Come into bed with me." I stood up and she slid over and lifted some of the blankets up. I climbed in next to her. It was hot underneath the blankets, it was nice. The room is just too cold and this heat feels amazing. I lay down and she did too. We just lay there, starring at each other. The world around us disappeared. It was only me and her, there, together. The doctor walked in.

"Oh, sorry, but Sam," she jumped up and reached for another needle. I quickly sat up and stopped her. I held on to her arm and she kept trying to grab the needle. Her strength almost won, her fingertips were just inches from the needle. With my other hand I turned her head to my face. She looked into my eyes and her strength disappeared. She crashed into my chest and started crying.

"I'm not crazy Freddie. I'm not." She whispered into my chest. I held her close.

"I know, Sam. I know." She kept crying and I just held her. If she's not crazy then what's wrong with her?

"Uhh.. Freddie, she needs to get tested right now." The doctor told me. I nodded and pulled her away.

"Samantha, sweetie, you have to go get some tests done."

"No! Don't leave me! You make me feel fine! Don't go!" she crashed into my chest and held on to my shirt. I looked to the doctor and motioned for me to hurry up.

"Sam, I'll go with you." I looked to the doctor for approval, he just rolled his eyes and motioned for us to go. She moved away from my chest and smiled through her tears.

"Thank you… You're…you're a good boyfriend." I smiled and got off the bed. I helped her off too and held her hand while we walked. When we got closer to the room her grip got tighter. I stopped and gave her a hug. We just stood there, hugging. I was still holding her hand and the grip slowly loosened. When the grip was how it was before, I let go of the hug and kissed her forehead. She half smiled at me then turned to start walking.

We entered the room and there was a big machine in the room. I started to walk her to it, but she refused. She wouldn't move any closer to it; she even actually backed away from it. "Come on, it's fine. Nothing's going to hurt you, I won't let that happen." She stepped a bit closer before backing up again. She shook her head.

"No. No, I'm not going on that thing."

"Why not?"

"It…it scares me…"

"It's harmless, here; I'll go on it first." I let go of her hand and she reached back for it, but I started to walk away so she pulled her hand to her side.

"Be careful." I walked closer to the machine and laid on it. It wasn't comfortable, but I had to do it for Sam. Poor Sam, she'll have to lay on this for longer than I do. I sat back up.

"See, its fine." She looked around and then quickly walked towards me. She grabbed my hand and started to pull me off of it. When I was off she slipped by me and laid on it. Not moving a muscle.

"Okay, I'm ready. This better go by fast." The nurses came to prep her for the test. She started kicking her legs and pushing them away. She tried clawing at her eyes even. I ran to her and grabbed her hand and held it tight. She squeezed it even harder. One of the nurses walked towards her to give her a needle. Sam saw her and snapped. She sat up and grabbed the needle from the nurse and pointed it to her heart.

"I'll do it! Step any closer and this goes to my heart!"

"Sam!" her head snapped to me, and like all the times before, she broke, dropping the needle and starting to cry. I held her close again.

"What's wrong with me?"

"I don't know. That's what we're going to find out. You have to let these nice ladies help you get ready for the test though, alright?" she moved away from me and looked me in the eyes. There were claw marks around them. She still had the most beautiful eyes I've ever seen. "I'll hold your hand while they do it." She nodded and lay back down.

Still holding her hand, the nurses moved closer and slowly reached out to touch her. Her grip tightened, but she didn't do anything to them. She closed her eyes and let me do what they had to do. When she was finished, I had to leave. She kept her eyes closed the whole time. They did one more different test before I walked her back to the room and soon, we fell asleep.

I woke up to the sound of whimpering. It was Sam. I looked at her face, and her eyes were still closed. She must be having a nightmare.

"Fr-Freddie…" she whispered.

"Sam?"

"Freddie…"

"Sam! What is it?"

"I-I-I love you."

"I love you too." She smiled.

"Don't… Don't leave me."

"I won't! I'm not! I promise!" she smiled again. I shook her to wake her up. Her eyes fluttered open and she rolled over and faced me. She smiled.

"Hey,"

"Hey," I smiled.

"What time is it?"

"Five in the morning." She groaned.

"Wanna get up?"

"Yeah, get me some food nub."

"Alright, Princess Puckett." I climbed out of bed and helped Sam out. She was still wearing the hospital gown and her hair had gotten even more knotty, she was still so beautiful. I held her hand as we walked out and went to the cafeteria. (**A/N: I don't know if that's how hospitals are. I've never stayed overnight at one.) **There was a bunch of other patients in there. I guess they all wake up early. Still holding her hand, I led Sam to the food. Her eyes lit up when she saw the food. She's still the same Sam we all know and love, just a little… you know, damaged, I guess. _Damaged._ Is she really damaged? Maybe she is. Maybe that's what's wrong with her; she's just damaged and needs help. Or maybe she just needs people to love her. I mean, she is the same around me. She doesn't thrash out on me or threaten to kill herself when I try to go closer to her. It could possibly be one of those things. Couldn't it?

"Are you not eating?" crashed in throwing all my thoughts out the window.

"Huh?"

"You not eating?" I looked at the source of the voice. The ocean that I love was looking into my chocolate. She had a half smile on her face that made me melt.

"Oh, yeah I'm eating." I grabbed what looked good and so did she. We made our way to a table with no one at it. I didn't feel like socializing with anyone but Sam. She's all I need.

I got half way into my food when the doctor busted in. He quickly came up to me and pulled me away. Sam didn't like it. She jumped up furiously and ran towards the man, tackling him down while barely even harming me.

"What the fuck are you doing with my fucking boyfriend!" she yelled at him.

"I have to speak with him Sam! That's all. I mean no harm, I swear!" the doctor pathetically replied. She looked at me and saw the concern on my face and she quickly got off. She even helped him up. I went to her side and held her hand.

"You… You mean privately or?" she asked.

"Privately." She looked at me and I smiled. She let go of my hand and went back to the food she had left. I went with the doctor out in the hall.

"I know what's wrong with Sam."

"You do! Tell me!"

"She has something called Superior Canal Dehiscence. It's where you hear everything that's happening in your body."

"But… How does that explain how she thrashed out on everyone except for me?"

"You are the thing that calms her down. You know how when a baby is crying and no one can make him or her stop except for the mother?"

"…Yeah?"

"Well, the baby stops crying when with the mother cause of the strong connection they have. You and Sam have this strong connection and anyone who is new or doesn't have a connection with her whatsoever triggers a point in her brain that seems to have gotten extremely sensitive in the accident."

"And this has to do with the Sup…Sup…you know, the thing she has, how?"

"Well, the accident didn't only make that sensitive, but her hearing extremely, and I mean extremely sensitive. So sensitive that she hears what's going on inside of her"

"And you can help her?"

"Yes. I just open up the skull and do a little this and a little that and then she's how she was before." I shuddered at the thought of them cutting my baby open.

"Good, I'll go tell her about it since, you know, you can't." I walked back into the cafeteria and went to Sam. Luckily no one tried to talk to her or go near her, so she's fine. I sat down at the table and she looked up from her food and smiled.

"I'm…I'm sorry."

"Why are you sorry?"

"I ate your food. You were gone for a while and I finished my food and yours was just right there and it looked so good, I'm sorry…" she quickly spit out the last sentence so fast it took me a second to take in what she had said. I smiled.

"It's okay. You didn't have to apologize." She smiled. I love her smile. It's so beautiful, it always makes me smile and it always made my day so much better, even her devilish smile that she wears when she's up to no good. It always makes me smile. Even when it was when she would be smiling because of something painful or embarrassing that was about to happen to me. It just made me smile. I always hid it though. I tried not to smile, I mean who would when they're about to get hurt or embarrassed by a girl? It was still very hard to do. Like that one time when she threatened me after I unlocked her from Gibby. She smiled and it made me smile. I was trying so hard to hide it though. I hope it worked. Probably not though…

"Oh, I have some great news!"

"Really? What?"

"I found out why you always tried hurting the nurses and doctor."

"Why?"

"The hit from the accident made parts of your brain really sensitive."

"Is…is that why I hear things? Like it's really loud."

"Yes, exactly."

"Are they going to fix me?"

"You're not broken. You don't need to be fixed, you are still Sam, you just have a few bumps and bruises that are going to get healed," she gave me a half smile. I smiled back.

After a while it was time for prep for the surgery. I held her hand all while the nurses where getting her ready. I eventually had to let go of her hand so, I told her to watch me. It worked. They quickly rolled her out of the room so they could get her in the operating room and put her under so she wouldn't thrash out on anyone of them. I was told to go to the waiting room. I did as I was told and texted Carly. I told her about the predicament and she said she was on her way. She was bringing Spencer, and it reminded me to call my mom. She was on her way also.

A couple hours passed and the doctor came back down the hallway like he did before and asked for me. I got up and so did Carly, Spencer, my mother, and Gibby. Carly ended up texting him out of boredom and told him to come. He was kind of still a friend of Sam's.

"Is it okay if all of them came this time?"

"Yes, of course. Right this way." He led us back down that same hallway. If only I had chased after her. We turned a few corners again. She would've been safe with me. We stopped in front of her door like last time. I guess she still kind of is safe with me. He opened the door for us and there she was, still sleeping like last time. On a bed in the middle of the room all bandaged up. This time she had a bandage on her head. She still had a lot of her hair, the bandage only covered some of her head and it really looked like she was just wearing a headband. She looked beautiful. We all walked over to her. I sat in the same seat and grabbed her hand. Her face contorted a bit. She was waking up, just like last time.

Her eyes fluttered open and her eyes landed on Carly, Spencer, Gibby, my mom, and then on me. She smiled when she saw me. I smiled back and kissed her hand.

"How you feeling Sam?" asked the doctor.

"I'm…I'm good. I'm good! No like really I'm good! I don't hear everything anymore! And I guess the whole thrashing out on strangers is done too!"

We all smiled and went to hug her. She hugged us back as much as she could and then broke the hug. She looked at me and gestured for me to go to her. I obeyed. I got close to her and she gestured with her finger to get closer. I did and she kissed me. It was an amazing kiss. She broke the kiss and I put my forehead on hers.

"Thank you."

**A/N: Awwwwwwww! Did you like it? Cause I did! Except for the beginning, it wasn't that good. But I still LOVE this story! By the way, I don't know if any of you caught on, but this was kind of like the Grey's Anatomy episode with Demi Lovato. I watched it a few days ago and got this amazing idea for a Seddie fanfic and well, HERE IT IS! Oh, and a lot of the doctor stuff I was saying, I was just like guessing on, so sorry if anything is wrong. I hope you liked it as much as I did! Review!**


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